Just a heads up, this post isn’t so much about pro wrestling. Honestly I am going to get a little personal and I hope that is ok. I am getting reminders that my one year renewal of this blog is coming up and it’s forced me to reflect on just how crazy this past year has been for me. So again, this is not so much a wrestling post, but a long overdue thank you to all that follow and/or read this blog.
This time last year was a tumultuous time in my life. I was days away from walking away from my job, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and was struggling with vertigo. I was trying to restart my home inspection business and quite frankly, was under a lot of stress.
I can vividly remember the morning of August 27th, 2018. It was the first time in a decade that I didn’t have to wake up and go to a job. I guess that was a good thing, because I probably would have called off anyway. I did not sleep much that night due to vertigo causing everything around me to spin every time I laid my head down.
I did manage two to three hours of sleep that night, and as my wife and daughter left for work/school, I was getting up to get ready to take my son to school. I could feel my anxiety was really active that morning. Trying to be the tough guy/dad, I acted as if everything was fine as I helped my son get ready for school. I drove him to school and we listened to the first ten minutes of Busted Open on Sirius radio.
That show helped me calm down a little, but when I arrived back home I had the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had. I took the medicine the doctor gave me, it didn’t help, I tried to distract myself by watching wrestling or trying to get sleep, but that was not helping, I tried the breathing techniques, drinking water, going outside for air, and nothing was helping.
I knew it was an anxiety attack, but I couldn’t help but feel like I was going to die. I was to proud to call 911 and thought to myself I don’t want my family to find me dead in my house, they won’t want to live here anymore. So I thought maybe I should go die at a park or something, I really thought that was my last day.
It got so bad, that I looked in our medicine cabinet and wondered for split second, what can I do to end this? For the first time in my life, I could not control my thoughts. I took another anxiety pill and sat down on the couch, laid my head back and shut my eyes. I prayed that God take it away, because I can’t get rid of it.
About an hour and a half later, I woke up in the same position I had been in when I laid my head back and shut my eyes. I still felt the anxiety, but it had calmed down, I knew my family was going to be home soon and that I had to hide just how bad my fears really were.
I went months with out a job, and re starting the home inspection business, kind of fell flat. I had made about three hundred dollars in three months. I had cashed out my retirement from my job, and that was the only way I was able to contribute to supporting my family.
So with all this extra time on my hands, I was starting to have anxiety attacks nearly everyday. I needed something to occupy my time and pro wrestling was it. I decided that I was going to start a blog, and write about wrestling everyday. It gave me something to look forward to and something to do every day.
I really didn’t know what to expect, I am not a pro blogger or writer, I’ve never taken any writing classes or even studied it. I was pretty good at creating stories in grade school and high school, writing a few plays that were produced in sixth grade and again my senior year.
I have written movie scripts for fun and thought to myself, I am going to write about wrestling. I love wrestling, I like writing and with over thirty years of being a wrestling fan, I felt like I had some opinions and thoughts that others would be interesting to read.
So it began, I started a wrestling blog. I had ten followers for the longest time, then things started to take off a little bit. I don’t have thousands and thousands of followers, but in less than a year, I have managed to get over two hundred followers and this blog has been seen by people in nearly sixty different countries.
You have no idea how much that means to me. I have really enjoyed the last year doing this blog. I have been able to share my thoughts on things such as, attitude era versus current era, my all time favorite wrestlers, WWE 2K video games, pay per view predictions and a weekly top ten.
I’ve been able to share KessellMania with all of you, which has become a family tradition at my house. I can say that this has been one of my favorite things I have ever done. I often joke with my wife that I have work to do when wrestling is on, because I sit with my iPad and take notes on what I am viewing.
She would respond with “when’s it going to pay?”. I would smile and respond, “someday.” This blog has inspired me, it has helped me and honestly, it has saved me. This blog has been a medicine that no doctor or psychologist could prescribe. I simply took two things I enjoy, wrestling and writing and used it to not just entertain, but heal.
So what’s next for me? What’s next for the blog? Well, since I started the blog I was rehired by an agency I worked for earlier this decade, and they didn’t just re hire me, they welcomed me back with open arms. I was able to reconnect with some old friends and become friends with people that started work there while I was away.
I took a position that paid less than what I made when I left, but I was just happy to be back and be appreciated again. I have since received a promotion and a pay raise, that his much more than what I made when I left the last time. The promotion comes with a lot of responsibility and a lot of training, but a lot of opportunity.
I am also in the re write process of my latest movie script. I have been juggling a lot, and although this blog has been something that helped me through some dark times, I have decided to step away from the blog. I wan’t to finish the movie script and complete all the training that comes with my new position.
I sincerely want to think all of you that have taken the time to read this blog for the past year, you have all been as much a part of the healing process as the blog has. I will be forever grateful and just know that this isn’t goodbye, it’s see you later. So until next time, thanks for checking out GoHomePWB.com, the people’s wrestling blog!